Is depression a healthy reaction to a sick society?
“If I wasn’t smoking weed, I’d be on xanax or prozac or some shit. I’d much rather be taking something natural to regulate my serotonin that doesn’t give me sexual side-effects (like the inability to orgasm; a living nightmare.) Come to think of it, it has enhancing sexual side effects…”
“Well, as long as you don’t use it to escape your problems. Are you using it to escape your problems?”
Fuck yes I am! If I get in a domestic squabble, a toke, the problem is immediately resolved. We can see from eachother’s perspective and it crushes the ego to the point where we realize we no longer care about the non-issue (for instance, I think the pot holders should be readily available. she puts them on the same hook as the pans which, in an emergency, would be terribly inefficient.) After a few moments I return to the now and all I want to do is be happy with the one that I love – no more wasted time and bruised egos.
Most mental issues like worries, anxiety, panic, fear are exactly that – mental issues (usually concerned with the past or future) that do not exist (yet?) in a substantive way and cannot be resolved through thinking them through. They are made of thought alone, but can have a debilitating effect in the here and now.
I may be escaping these problems by eliminating the sub-process that binds me to re-thinking them over and over, but what on earth is the harm in that?
If I remove my hand from the stove am I escaping the problem of my burning hand?
(Note: I’m talking about only enough to change one’s perspective. Not getting blitzed to the point of being incoherant or falling asleep.)
Speaking of which, here’s what being a schizophrenic might be like:
schizophrenic simulator.
(Warning: this may be psychologically disturbing to some. do not watch if you are easily disturbed or can’t “let go” of emotional videos or traumatic scenes in your head.)
(For some reason that reminds me of this much more family friendly 3D audio presentation: Virtual Barbershop. Close your eyes, use headphones if available.)
My brain used to be quite mean to me in a similar fashion to that schiz video actually; only it just used one voice – mine. Just as I try and remind myself all the time to be thankful for the uvulopalatopharyngoplasty that I had that enables me to not snore (booty) and breathe in more oxygen (brain) I have to also be constantly thankful for Eckhart Tolle who helped me become the master of my own thoughts. In all of my reading no one had ever told me that I didn’t need to listen to the thoughts in my head; that they could be incorrect or even damaging, and that I should only engage them when the thoughts were working for me and my agenda. I’m still human – I still feel ups and downs and all of that – but it has been a very long time since a thought tried to take me down so it could rule the roost. I dog whisperered my own ego and it knows who is master now.
The majority of people are automatons to the control of their own brains; they have let their thoughts trick them, convince them that there are so many things to worry about in the world that the spiritual “you” couldn’t possibly handle it on your own. So the brain takes over all of your functions and it drags your person through life reacting off of everything like a pool ball, including your past mistakes and the terrifying future that hasn’t happened yet; a constant cause and effect relationship with the rest of the world; your life the plinko chip. All the while the real “you” just sits in its prison and watches.
Fabled Enemies
Speaking of sleepers, here’s a new awakening from the Alex Jones infowars.com crew:
Fabled Enemies (Super High Quality, full movie)
Osama Bin Laden: CIA asset codenamed Tim Osman.
Also Bush’s partner in Arbusto Oil (arbusto means Bush in Spanish)
My only warning here is that you don’t let the fear fill you. Some folks in the conspiracy realm reckon that Alex Jones is part of the conspiracy – sent to muddy the waters and keep us on the wrong track. I don’t believe that – I remember when he was a nothing on Austin’s cable access channel. But just as with Alex and Whitley Strieber they often operate from a base of fear. That is probably why they rose to stardom in the first place. The fear gets you in a heightened state where you more readily absorb information. However, you can extract the information without feeding on the fear by simply willing that to happen. I ask that you try and do that.
Speaking of fear for things we don’t fully understand:
The Naked Sun
Sun Makes History: First Spotless Month in a Century
Earthfiles: Still No Sunspot Action (Updated)
No sunspots for a month. This hasn’t happened since 1913.
I did some searches for information about 1913: uhh… Winston-Salem, zippers, Camel cigarettes, Ford assembly line, NY’s Grand Central, Harriet Tubman dies, Women’s Suffrage march – nothing out of the ordinary.
So I searched for weather and 1913:
While controversy may exist about which storm was the strongest and produced the most devastation, one could hardly deny that the fall storm of November 7-12th, 1913 ranks near or at the top! In fact, it is generally agreed that the November 1913 storm (which concentrated more on Lake Huron for its death and destruction) was the greatest ever to strike the Great Lakes.
The statewide extent of death and destruction in the Flood of 1913 exceeds all other weather events in Ohio history, justifying the title of “Ohio’s greatest weather disaster.”
Notes on the Severe Heat and Drought over the Midwest During the Summer of 1913
Ouch!
Then again, the Electric Universe (Film: Thunderbolts of the Gods) people think that sunspots are holes into the cool interior of a plasmaball. (scroll down to ‘Sunspots and Coronal Holes‘) I wonder what the electric universe people say about the lack of sunspots? Keep watching the Thunderblog at thunderbolts.info I guess.
Never A Straight Answer
Speaking of space science, did I forget to mention that Richard Hoagland is accusing NASA of hiding life on mars? That’s a crazy ass site if you ever get the chance to poke around it. Much of it is… odd? speculative? crazy? Full of red text and exclamation points and specious connections? In other words, fun.
The Solution to Coral Castle?
That reminds me I never linked to this solution to the mystery of coral castle, supposedly.
If the background music is far too gay for you to handle, and if the video editing is far too plodding, then here is an HTML page with all the video’s revelations.
The secret, of course, is in the number 144 (Hey, didn’t the bible talk about 144,000 in Revelations? I’ve had the Bible by the toilet for some light reading and I’m sure I just read that. I also enjoyed the show The 4400, but that is unrelated. Is Heroes coming back anytime soon? Oh yeah, they made little webisodes if you want to watch those.)
Everyone has speculated on the meaning of 7129 6105195 which Ed Leedskalnin scratched on the wall (he didn’t do much that was without meaning so a lot of significance was put into it.) That guy’s explanation is the best I’ve heard so far.
Still, some of the stuff in that video makes my gag reflex go funny.
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The Revolution will Not Be Anesthetized
Speaking of TV Shows, I’ve got my new apartment (paying for, but I haven’t moved in yet) and I had to make a choice:
To Comcast or Not to Comcast?
I loathe comcast. They’ve even started blocking people from seeding torrents which is just like them, the dirty shits. I pay for 200 channels of crap for the privedge of watching the 1% that I want to watch, and despite how much I pay, each channel is still an attempt to brainwash me or sell me something more. And in exchange for this crappy deal you limit what I do with my bandwidth? Oh hell no!
Last time I had the works: HBO, Showtime, digital box, DVR, VOD, HD. I paid about $150/month and rarely watched it of my own volition.
This time, I choose no television. I’m getting FIOS for internet – the lowest speed (@ $49.99 or something) is faster than Comcast Cable.
I’ll get Netflix – they are actually doing a deal with xbox 360. Do they do conspiracy documentaries? I thought they’d get anything you requested. I want to swim in a deluge of documentaries.
I may get a set-top box for local channels, but that’s it. I’ll try not to use it.
YouTube Favorites and VLog
If I’m ever not here for a bit, feel free to check out:
YouTube Favorites
YouTube Video Log
I actually do post stuff there I don’t post here.
Like googletalk: Science and the Taboo of PSI! Man, all you have to do is read those comments to see that the taboo is still in place. I’ve also been trailing the false charges and arrests from fear-driven police officers around the Republican Convention. They’ve been pre-arresting people for thought crimes. They hadn’t even protested yet! Amy Goodman from Democracy Now! was arrested as well.
(read more for strange stats and things)
Strange Stats and Things
If somone says, “Hey, we get 27,096 hits a day!” then they don’t know what they are talking about. A “hit” is anything that your web server serves up – a graphic, for example. So my site which has tons of graphics on it is going to register as having gotten loads of “hits”, even if it is only one person checking out the site.
Anyway, I was excited about 657 unique daily visitors for Sept 1st (either the web spiders had an open house here or you guys were all terribly bored), but then we pooped back down to 237 on the 2nd. I’ve got to stop checking these stats. I used to get excited about 237.
Note to self: Never mention MATH on the site again!
Note to editor: Ignore the stats. Do what comes natural.
The reason I haven’t been blogging is that I’ve been working on something for you. It’s almost finished.
RSS Feed Problems?
I’ve had 2 complaints about the RSS feed. I don’t even use RSS feeds myself. I don’t know shit about them. But mine seem to be behind a couple of posts. Anyone else getting that? I did notice that Jackie’s laptop’s screensaver was relating the first chunk of an old post.
I need to remember to make a post with some crazy-ass starting entry just because it would make me laugh everytime I thought of it emblazoned on Jackie’s screensaver.
Aggregate Photos
I want to put all of the digicam photos in one place so I can look at them all as a sequence over time. Where can I do that? Flikr? I’ll look into it.
By the way, I changed my cameraphone’s resolution to full and now I can’t zoom. 
I don’t like the pictures as much so far either, but I haven’t downloaded them yet. I think zooming was essential to the art; even if it was a digital zoom, not an optical one.
Do you have an auditory memory? Reading that conversation was a bit freaky!