Prometheus Rising

for Cenk Uygur of  The Young Turks
who is considering naming his unborn son Prometheus.
personally, i’m all for it.

I was on vacation in California last week from my home here in Richmond, Virginia. I watch a web-based political talk show called The Young Turks because it is dead honest, opinionated, but willing to change in a refreshing way you never see in our heavily fictionalized world. I respect it so much I’m like, proud of it in a very endearing way. Seriously. Mainstream should feel shame at their depravity in comparison.

Anyway, the book I’ve been reading on and off, The Courage to Create by Rollo May (which is honest and deep as fuck) starts coincidentally talking about Prometheus and I just had to send it to Cenk. Cenk used to be a Muslim, a Republican, and now he’s an atheist lib’rul. I talked with a psychic today (this is not something I normally do) about how you almost needed to be an atheist before you could truly find a non-anthropomorphized depth to the world beyond this physical plane that is intertwined with it. She had gone through her own rejection of organized religion and then gone through an atheist rebirth as well. Mine got started by my Telepathic experience. Funny how Eric went in the other way. He used to be something of a believer, or at least fearful of something that was going to judge him harshly, and now he’s a hardcore atheist, but his inner compassion for the world and moral outlook seems to have greatly improved. He is his own creator now.

click to embiggen.

the greatest creative work of your life is self change.

Subnote: discarded words/worlds.

I wrote a bunch of shit I was going to delete because, as always, I got too wordy. But I can’t delete it. Thanks to Matt for writing me. You gave me a great compliment and the courage I couldn’t give myself. I think this is me saying the same thing in a hundred ways. I’ll post it here in black on black, as meaning doesn’t mean shit unless it is meaning discovered.

All of these creation myths seem to be talking about the same thing. I read the Popol Vuh creation myth last night, the Zohar, the Tao Te Ching, iChing, Genesis, the sumerian legends, the Dogons, the Hopi. The earth was a firmament, not a planet. The dirt got here later! Petrified wood creates stone. These are not stories of men or man-gods creating a physical world. This is the story of consciousness, god, you, the universe, arising intent to create and then diving deep into imagination, then restricting it with limits as we do a mathematical function. This was not just a creation of physical worlds (though that came later, after we created ‘physical’), but the real story is the awakening of consciousness to itself after distancing itself on purpose. It has already played out! The end was written first. The end was always going to be that you would return to the center and be amazed at yourself and what you had done and what how had made yourself forget! What a joke you played! What an amazing experience! Hollywood was right, good was always going to win in the end. That’s how the audience (us) wanted it to be.

And every one of us is riding that roller coaster to self-discovery that they are actually god/consciousness/Tao riding the ride that YOU created. Your ride may conclude itself this lifetime or it may karmically be battled out over many different shapes and lifetimes and sizes of being, but as you go from an unbalanced knot of differences to an expansive, transparent, and kink-free you, you start to remember yourself and how you created a way that you could forget the whole because you wanted to come to the realization. You wanted a surprise party. You hid the invitation to yourself. You hid the invitation to remembering that you were everything, deep, deep, deep within synchronicity and the death cycle. In such a fine level of detail, at the very edge of statistical randomness, it waits for you to pay attention. Unless you actively seek it out, you won’t be able to see it. “But I ain’t gonna believe all that rubbish, I don’t want to feel silly!” So don’t! There will come a time when you don’t have a choice not to seek it out. We just extend our journey through time, not wanting to finish the game just yet and put away your toys. I totally understand. I’ve totally been there. I’m there now, holding back time from collapsing.

The beginning. Imagine you floating in space, no earth, no stars, no nothing. Just you. You might start talking to yourself. “Fuck, it’s lonely. What’s it all mean? I’m bored what should I do?” Every damn time since, when we have ever felt fear because we were lonely, or wondered what it all meant, or was bored because we weren’t stimulated enough, it is us remembering an echo of our first perspective, the initial fractalized path we’ve taken from the center, from the ‘beginning’. Imagine yourself floating in a giant 3D IMAX theater of your imagination. You could start building an eden of sorts, not on a planet, but unfolding in 3D in all directions as we discover how to assign properties to our ideas and imagining other dimensions of properties at right angles to the first set, that could influence each other in some ways and may or may not be perceived depending on the facing. Then we could crawl inside of our ideas and experience them directly, where we stood inside of red and the myriad of feelings we’ve placed in it, as we looked out at all of the other colors with wonder, thinking we were separate things. We could zoom back out and realize that we were all the same blue-green light all along. But that was fun, wasn’t it? Let’s do it again. Something more dramatic this time. Let’s create space so that we can distance ourself from ourself. And we’ll make it feel cold, but peaceful, and we won’t allow sound to wander free there though all matter can congregate in vibrational worlds/words. Our over-complexified consciousness makes this silly to describe in the way I can imagine it. I can’t do it justice and neither can any writing, film, or religion. It exasperates me to try. We learned to craft self-growing plants and self-assembling crystals. Then we get hungry for acknowledgment. We wanted to feel loved. Ego sets in. We allowed it to take part of us to see where that went, to see what we would do if we unfairly nurtured one part over another. We allowed the other part to remain in compassion, hidden deep within ego’s failure to gain long term satisfaction. We went nuts to feel what nuts felt like. We built this city on rock and roll.

Ever tried to play tic-tac-toe with yourself? Boooooooring! You wanted someone to play tic-tac-toe with in a way that you wouldn’t know what your next move would be. Then you wanted to fight with them about the rules. And make love with them and laugh at jokes and create a child and weep and hate yourself and marvel at a strange universe and somehow find enough respect in yourself as you grew and changed to actually accept that you are good and worthy, not because anyone else told you, but because you really believed it. And in that moment you’d discover god and then yourself and then you’d find you were that consciousness in space again and the body and all it’s choices were all laid before you in the great tapestry and you could see it as just one tiny, tiny root in a long chain of frames played out from past to future. You can remember the amazing time you imagined. Nothing was ever, ever lost. And you are smiling to yourself. And smiling then again because you didn’t know how to smile before you took the adventure; because smiles are something that only exist INSIDE of time. You know how to do that now. You know how to filter out the homogeneity of your experience outside of time and isolate a globule of pleasure from a ringlet of pain so you can vacati0n in that pleasure and experience that, even though another part of you would experience the pain as it’s perspective. But that’s ok. It’s all just you.

The past, future, and midways have all already happened, we are just reliving it and loving it. We’ve chosen to be here at this time because we want to experience this from the front row now. Even the pain is delicious to us, it has meaning, we asked for an education by it, it guides us through whatever level of consciousness we choose to experience and we only experience this one in real-time because we have chosen to. You know when that movie scares you because you think it’s real for a second? Same. The fear drives you to think it’s real and if you ever overdose on fear you might find that you relax as you accept death and forgive yourself. Now how can too much fear equal true peace unless true peace was the backdrop upon which the fear played out? You help yourself believe it. It’s all part of the fun, part of what drives us to act with import. I could be a god or a galaxy or a planet or a microbe on a man, or a dna molecule, or a subatomic particle in superposition excited about collapsing into my own intent as soon as some intent came into my self-limited radius. Whoosh! Collapse that function. The more we learn about the mysteries of life, the more we realize that it is all us and none of us contains a hatred of anything but what is already a part of the whole inside of every single iota of us. It just LOOKS LIKE we are different, or he has more compassion, or he has more anger, and he has more stuff, and he has more brains, it’s all us. We made us like this to experience separation.

(whoops. i guess i didn’t finish this part -KG)

Consciousness subdivided into male (creation through subdivision, rational numbers, fibonacci ratios, coral) and female (creation through grouping, irrational numbers, fluidity, water, wood) and then loads of various perspectives and dramatic clashes and resolutions of fractility on and on into infinity upwards and downwards. All of them contain the whole, but you can look through different facets, as you would a crystal, and see different things in different faces. A bit of rutilated titanium waving through the crystalized ether, you see it in one face, but not in the other even though it is in the same geographic location within the smokey quartz.

I just read the Tao Te Ching, mad respect there, it contains one of the better descriptions: The Tao. Even the word contains a circle. It is defined as all that is, the mental and the physical except they aren’t as unbound as you think, the grand vibrational creatrix. The Tao is suck a great word/world because it comes with a built-in disclaimer that even the word isn’t big enough to contain what the word is a pointer to. Read much of the Popul Vu last night. I’m in a fever for more information. I was even reading The Zohar, that’s how crazy I’m getting. My iChing reading was Fire over Heaven changing to Heaven over Heaven, the ultimate creative act. The book is called The Courage to Create, as in birth a child. The Popul Vuh, which I’m convinced is not talking about merely a celestial event, talks of Q’anil, the seed, the earth, the germination, the four colors of corn (red, black, yellow, white) from which men were created, creativity, the cosmic seed. The Mayan calendar says Friday, May 14th is 1 Q’anil. I think it wants me to make a baby. But it says that 8 Q’anil is even better. The ultimate creative act. June 3rd. It doesn’t coincide with her cycle, but I think I’m going to try. I have The Courage to Create. I’m starting to remember what this is all about.

I’m going to go drink at Avalon. Math Club. We don’t really do math. Can’t write anymore. Your turn. Later.