KindaGamey

(Disclaimer: I wrote this piece in a kind of fevered two-day un-sober trance back in March, 2010. Afterward, when I came to my senses, I thought it best that I clean it up a bit before publishing. I thought I would try and make some grammatical edits and achieve a semblance of order. The problem is, if I did that for everything I wrote, I’d never publish anything. Not only does it take personal courage to post something crazy like this (and “aw fuck it” *hit publish button* is a more readily available courage than the kind that one broods over,) but to compound that with the job of re-editing something that was meant to be flowing and crazy into a logical sequence is just too much. I guess that’s why writers have editors. I, however, do not. I’m not even sure if I believe these ideas anymore. My beliefs are changing so fast I can barely keep up with them. So why would I publish it then? Firstly, to be honest. I want to be honest about where my beliefs have come and gone from. And secondly, because it might help someone else solidify (or particulate) their own beliefs, even if those beliefs just consist of, “man, that guy is totally batshit.” So, prepare to wrinkle your brow at my convoluted logic, sneer at my internal contradictions, sit back and enjoy for laugh, sport, or pseudo-intellectual shits and giggles, the rantings of a crazy man on a very un-sober weekend in March. I love you. – KindaGamey)

Full PDF Here (right-click, save as)

No matter your strength, your intellectual capacity, or even your laziness (it might help actually), if you have the valor to be honest in the face of lies, even if it puts you at a personal disadvantage, then you can be one of a network of lighthouses that will guide humanity through seas of misrepresentation about the human condition. Transparency and awareness as a species will allow the collective conscience to vigilantly police our own and other’s natural desires to take advantage of situations for personal gain. Being honest as fuck can hold us accountable behaviorally. We can make manifest the guilt deterrent which is currently only served by private reflections with all too forgiving gods and consciences.

The world’s inhabitants lie to me daily and since I can’t change them, the greatest anti-authoritarian act of protest I can do is be as honest as fuck about EVERYTHING in my slice of reality. I will be honest about who I am, I will be honest with my doctor about how I really live my life, I will be honest to myself and others about what flaws I have, insecurities I have, how much money I make, what my bills are, what things I don’t really know about (“and would you mind explaining that to me?”), what medical conditions I have (“and oh you have that too? what do you do for that?”), sexual proclivities or porn sites I visit if you ask I guess, what bands I don’t know about, what sports I don’t care about, why I don’t like myself sometimes, why I don’t like you sometimes, feelings that are personal and deep and meaningful, what things make me sad or happy, what belief systems I lean towards, and how much political empathy I hold.

I will cast off any unfounded expectation that is placed on me. If I do hold an opinion about something, I will consider it a work-in-progress and not an eternal absolute. I won’t push out anyone else’s idea as stupid or uninformed without evaluating it first, because if I’m not evaluating the full range of human experience then how can I know what is the best way to be? If I might change my mind in the future, as I have done so many times in my past, then I will think it foolish to grip so tightly to a static opinion now.

Politicians, commercials, corporations, the media, lawyers, fine print; the truth is an anathema to our current paradigm. Crimes can only flourish in shadows, and lies and omissions of truth create deafening shadows. If we want the moral high-ground to call out those systems as major polluters into the lake of truth, well, we have to admit that we also contribute to the overall lying problem. We lie about who we really are on the inside and that causes us suffering. In order to hold up a fake version of you you have to tense a lot of facial muscles, cover up all those flaws, create the lie, suffer the karma of telling it, and remember and recall it all later, skillfully injecting it into the truth – that’s a lot of work! When we try to be something we’re not, when we don’t ask someone a question because we don’t want to seem stupid, when we hesitate because we fear, then we suppress the breadth of our own evolution. We aren’t giving ourselves the full range of experiential knowledge and therefore don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle. We can’t make the most informed behavioral decisions without truth.

We can be brave and face ourselves as we are and share that with each other, in real life and online, no frills, no obfuscation. My work persona, internet persona, and home persona can merge as one being with one center. That way, you may gain from the true knowledge of my human experience and our combined experiences will give us a fuller picture of the real world and what it means to be human. We can then shape the future together, better informed than we had been alone with our smaller truths.

I will try not to be rude and purposefully hurt someone’s feelings, but by acclimating people to honesty I hope to one day live in a world where we are not so fragile and the truth will be so evident we would welcome it when we hear it. “Does my ass look fat in this dress?” will be an honest inquiry and not a rhetorical trap. Then again, that question wouldn’t have relevance in a world where people didn’t try to be something they weren’t.

I will try not to blurt out inappropriate truths just to make other people uncomfortable and brandish my truths like an insensitive oaf, but if I feel that a moment would benefit from an honest disclosure then I will give to that moment without hesitation or fear of the consequences. I will tell you if I think you’ve done something wrong, but I will just as quickly compliment you if you deserve it. I won’t give a thought to whether either could be taken the wrong way by you (because I’m honest as fuck and if I sense that you are recoiling I will bring that up and if you are honest about recoiling then we can converse and I can then dissuade you of that notion.) If I sense a change in your demeanor or facial expression then I will bring it up and we can lay it on the table. Perhaps I was mistaken or misinterpreted your actions; how else would I know if I don’t ask? How can we come to an emotional equilibrium if we keep the majority of our cards hidden?

I can respect privacy, but if I feel that sacrificing some of my own for the common good will help someone else then I will do so. I will be honest to a fault and I may feel embarrassment from time to time, but I know that when people see that someone is embarrassed, they realize that the person is less capable of lying and therefore trustworthy. By being willing to be embarrassed in the quest for greater truth or by denigrating myself through admissions of faults, I know that I might be making other people feel more at ease. It also reminds me that I am *aware* of the things I need to change and just by being aware of them, and facing them with honesty, I will be more likely to gravitate towards a better me.

If your behavior isn’t appreciated, then that can be rectified by yourself or others. But if your honesty isn’t appreciated it is because the person judging you cannot imagine how your perspective exists. They emotionally call, “go fish,” because they cannot find a relation in their card deck of experiences. This soul-blindness is only possible through lack of exposure to the full range of human experience or through willful callousness in order to preserve a belief system. We have the choice of transitioning peacefully or fighting the inevitable. The growing global communication and transportation networks are forcing the rough hewn stones of personality into a tumbler. Honesty is the grit that will expose and tear down our sharp edges. The result will be a smooth, polished, collection of transparent glass beads that can slip by one another without friction or obfuscation. Contrary to fears of a future where our individuality is suppressed, transparency and acceptance can give us the bounds within which we can infinitely explore different states of being without infringing upon one another.

If you experience harsh judgment from a relationship prospect who doesn’t accept you as you are, then there is no need to fight it because you’re assuredly better off without them. You’re better off without the crash landing you would have experienced when both of your sets of expectations met reality.

People that aren’t very forgiving are often the same way with themselves. Feel compassion for the pain that must cause them.

If you don’t get hired due to your honesty then it wasn’t someone that would be healthy for your true self to work for in the first place. If you don’t get selected out of a group of less-than-honest candidates, then so be it; the selecting party could not suss out truth from deception or didn’t value your truth. That isn’t a fault of yours.

If anyone ever asks you to lie under threat of future consequences and you reject that proposal, then so be it. You kept your honor, you preserved the only broker of a healthy society, and the consequences, even if they result in harm, were not done by you no matter what you are told. It’s not your fault. Never negotiate with terrorists. If you lie to save someone from an oppressor you are allowing the oppressor to frame reality instead of the truth. Awareness of self and transparency are the only ways we will ever become whole people, complete and accepting, able to trust one another, willing to forgive transgressions and mistakes, past, present and future; even our own.

No one can blackmail you if your skeletons are unveiled before they ever get the chance. Manage behaviors accordingly, knowing that were you to act in a way that would make you ashamed later you’d have to force yourself to admit it and thereby we suffer. Honesty (as close to objective awareness as possible through an overlay of the spectrum of all subjective perspectives) is the goal that preempts all others; the open invitation to the emergent solutions for the most balance in the moment. Honesty is the root of all good in this world. Money isn’t the root of all evil – money creates obscurity which permits all evil.

If we do not fight vigorously for truth by turning away from the lie, enough that we would sacrifice ourselves as collateral for a greater cause (not by fighting or committing violence, only by removing one’s self as much as possible from supporting systems that oppress you through lies) then we will never rise above the problems we face both internally and externally. Truth can establish common experience which we can then use to explore new ideas and exercise within a wider space for human creativity than we have ever known before. The commonalities of our true natures will be the axis around which we revolve and evolve.

Until that day happens, I will do what I can in the NOW. I will support sunshine laws that reveal more and more truths to the public. I will support expansion of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). I will support campaign finance laws that disclose everything there is to know about who is buying my politician of choice. If the media cannot tell the truth I will find and support a media that is honest as fuck, and if there isn’t one I will find a way to make my own. I will support the release of UFO files, national security briefings, the audit of the Federal Reserve. No matter my opinion of the subjects, anything which brings more light to the table will lead to a better world. The security of nations can be found in their honesty and openness, not deceit. Lies are immediate damage to the genetic code of our future, but a lack of “security” is only the potentiality of damage.

Once anything is exposed to the light of awareness, the solution to that problem takes care of itself through our collective response. We need more lighthouses to be able to properly course our own future. I will support anything which provides more information, more light, more truth, to the public and the world. I am willing to show the government what’s in my privacy, but I will demand that they show me what’s in theirs.

I declare who I am, what I am, why I am; I will make no excuses and I will be honest as fuck. If the consensus is that admitting your faults publicly is a weakness then I will defy that view and exalt it as courage. I will speak my ills and truths like it is the most natural thing in the world to do, simply because it should be. I will seek out other people who are honest as fuck, people who will grant me the same mature honor and courtesy as fellow human beings starved from the full potential of love and acceptance through a persistent application of fear of rejection by their fellow humans. I will grow the network of honest fucks like a cancer that no one can excise or insult without revealing themselves to be in defense of fear, lies, and untruths. I will be the most natural me I can be in defiance of a cynical world that hides its true nature.

I am only a single pillar of the world, but I will strive to be what I want for humanity’s future. Can you see any positive future for humanity other than one bathed in truth? I can’t.

exercise is self-induced suffering to become stronger.
honesty is self-induced suffering to become better.

Full pdf: HERE

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Extra! Extra! KindaGamey does it again!
Strikes innocent thread with undeserved, crazy, long-ass rant!

I think I’m going to collect crazy ass rants and link them here in this thread.
Sometimes I tell other people what I wanted to tell you.

You know how it is.
I’ll post this one and come back later and add more ranty links if I feel like it.

—

from:
Study Finds Conservatives Are More Easily Disgusted
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message809846/pg2#12500420

KindaGamey:
Re: Study Finds Conservatives Are More Easily Disgusted

conservatives also have more nightmares than liberals.

i think that this is all pretty telling.
not that unabashed liberal thinking is the answer, either.

we will all meet in the center.
on everything.
the races, religion, cultures, pro-choice/life, art versus offense, freedom versus fascism, competition versus compassion.

(this part of the post is optional, so don’t bitch about the length/ranting!)

republicans are right that too much centralized power/hierarchical power is bad and wasteful and we should decentralize authority and responsibility, but democrats are right that we should support every single person including those who you all deem lazy or poor or illegal, because the hidden costs of ignoring those that need our help, need housing, need education, need food and clean water, far outweighs the cost of helping them.

and i don’t just mean emotional costs; i mean the problems with crime, how much we pay to jail the criminal, the kind of negative education a criminal receives in jail versus the positive value from reformation, the problems with companies not having a productive workforce of educated people, the problem with voters not being educated enough to take personal responsibility for their governments and making poor decisions based on marketing appeal, the cost of the uninsured treated at hospitals all over the country, the cost of making medical preventative maintenance prohibitive by charging for it, the cost of killing ourselves with unregulated food quality for fitness and health, the cost of the uninsured in traffic accidents, the personal shame you feel when you look at a homeless person, the littering and filth of those who were not taught to think of their environments as parts of themselves, the lack of compassion for their fellow humans because it was never demonstrated to them…

all of this weighs on society. all of this is an underlying stress of society that we all carry with us all the time, though some can ignore it better than others. it causes many ills for many people. to ignore it is folly. it isn’t about “keepin’ MY money” and “only gettin what you’re worth” like conservatives preach – we are all worth far more than we are told, we are all far more capable than we even know we can be, and were we not using these taxes to pamper gilded cages (like paying interest on the debt, the war machine, rich tax evaders vs the taxable weight of the public, etc.) we could feed, clothe, house, educate everyone (and i mean truly educate, as in, teaching people to reason and learn and be a moral presence in the world, not just memory machines.)

What could we do?

what you want in tax breaks could come as a natural result of a healthier economy for everyone. what you get in tax raises are a direct result of everyone living in competition. military budgets could be drastically slashed. as populations are released from national bondage we would no longer pursue our ‘national’ self interests in defiance of any other region of the world (because as global citizens we would act in concert) and there would never be a population untainted by your own kind that one could bomb or threaten for being in personal opposition to you, spiritually, behaviorally, or otherwise. every geographic location would have a full range of diversity as travel could be free and unrestricted.

We could teach people to defend themselves and saturate a certain percentage of the population with public defenders, civilian cops/military, who are just people living their lives who have been qualified mentally and morally stable and will be well trained to handle abhorrent behavioral situations and will enjoy martial arts and some medical training. Actual cops would be a smaller and more specialized function. Profit could be an openly discussed agreement between consumer and company. Companies could be conglomerates of regular people with common interests ruled by a regularly rotating committee of its employees and hierarchical presidencies would be a thing of the past. Salary could be equivalent with no position vaulted over another, or one could barter the willingness to submit themselves to more stress/responsibility in exchange for choicer accommodations and lifestyle or one could submit themselves to no personal responsibility at all (no job or service or productive benefit to society at all, ever) for slightly more budgeted conditions (though still clean, sanitary, environmentally adaptive, etc.) Leadership roles for non-producers whose social ability is to make effective use of producers; counsel; and alleviate personal conflicts, would be considered on par with the production role, not considered a superior. Marketing and advertising would be accessed voluntarily by people who are seeking information about a product, not ever forced on anyone who does not wish to see it. Marketing will use its opportunity not to trick the consumer into wanting its product, but to honestly communicate and educate the consumer on the benefits of the product; because, unlike today, products just would not exist anymore if they exhibited the slightest dishonesty in their claims. They wouldn’t need to lie because they would have true pride in their products and their products would be the best; in usability and instinct-driven interfaces, reliability, and functionally. The role of investor would be the role of allocating all available resources toward functions which are most beneficial to humanity. The will of a far larger base of the population will exert its hand on the functions of government. Besides the allocations of material resources our strengths and benefits will also be measured, and we will be able to select a function that makes us the most happy and also serves the greatest purpose, and those two things will be inseparable. If you desire to change functions then we will assume that as part of the consciousness collective you willed it for a reason and therefore you will be reallocated. We will have a large database of needed functions, some ongoing, some immediate, and people will step forward to help where they can. They wont be “leaving a job” to serve, our purpose WILL BE to serve and this will not be forced upon us, we will do it for the gratitude and benefit of living in a beautifully creative and stimulating healthy educated and productive society that excludes no one that wishes to be a part of it.

Internet function would be distributed over every computer like a giant P2P network so that no one central machine could ever be tampered with or destroyed or threatened, viruses would be immediately quarantined and immediately removed. Equally, the government would also be free from attack because it would be the people and there would be as many smart enough and willing enough to take the helm of their regional collective if necessary. People who are allocated voluntary government functions would not be uprooted from their local environments. They would be distributed like a network. With personal profit and gain motives removed there is no benefit to politics unless one was truly invested in the fluid operation of social and economic operations (economic operations meaning, the exchange and coordination of service and resource to benefit all mankind) and it would never be one’s only career; each person would bring their own specialties, interests, and understanding to their temporary experience with governance. Secrecy in matters of governance or corporations does not exist and wouldn’t need to; the financial operations of the company or leadership* roles helping the coordination and magnetic alignment of the people is itself made up of a large segment of the people, it can not and would not have a reason to hide something from itself. Corporations will not have a reason to harm the public because they are themselves the public. They will not have a reason to damage the environment because they themselves depend on the environment. All news and entertainment media will educate to the fullest extent that they can, utilizing repetition as a learning tool not to associate you with a brand, not by being forced a morality or opinion, but because it is the right thing to do and that the people are hungry for it and educated enough to receive it and thrive off of it.

(* sorry, this word ‘leadership’ will be replaced with one that represents an equal partner in an operation who values the skills of various producers and is tasked with coordinating their skillsets to work towards a particular goal.)

Software companies wouldn’t spend millions on creating products in the form of games or applications, they would create tools by which we could fashion, update, and advance the uses of, our own digital products. They would facilitate the creation of tools; outgrowths of the user-driven movements like open-source, wikipedia, youtube, Second Life, or Will Wright’s Spore.

There is no security at any airport or fast light-rail station or automated personal transport hub. None. We agree as an educated and coordinated global society to cast off the rigid security measures of the past in favor of personal freedom, despite our knowledge of the possible consequences. We accept the risks of terrorism, chemical attack, or missile bombardment, in exchange for personal freedom. We know that we cannot be defeated not because we would rather die than submit to the will of another, but because we accept that as the one function of universal consciousness we are life, and if life is extinguished entirely we would just inhabit a new location in the universe elsewhere to continue the experiment of being bound through manifestation; perhaps we could come back as beetles. There is no one to oppose our ideology because we do not impose it upon anyone, there is no one that cannot join us and receive the benefits therein and express his/her opinion through methods of participation and communication, so there is no reason to attack for feeling stifled, for feeling powerless against a greater entity, for feeling afraid that you cannot eat, or clothe yourself, or house yourself, or that you aren’t smart enough, or that you don’t work hard enough, or think deep enough thoughts, or that someone will judge you, or criticize you, or think less of you, or someone will shoot you if you don’t have a gun, or somehow a soul is wasted if a fetus’ growth is terminated when consciousness is the actual stuff of all matter, and that suffering doesn’t serve a purpose, carries no message, has no lesson to be learned. There is no shyness as there is no fear or secrecy on a personal level and the lack of judgment will be sensed by those of us with delicate receptors and we will be released from our verbal prison, and there is no fear of other humans as the whole society blankets you, it is protecting itself and everyone has your best interests at heart. Any abhorrent behavior is treated early on before it ever becomes a serious problem.

They are you and you them and we are all a forgivable collection of different attributes and learned experiences and our conflicts are born of the inability to look beyond ourselves to see the interconnectedness of all things; for both the material realist and the spiritual wanderer this can be a true and guiding heading. No one will doubt that the interconnectedness is truth because the efficiency of the system and the happiness of the people and the creative and technological marvels of a free and intelligent public will stand as living proof that to work in concert with all people is to work to one’s own benefit.

Go earth!